05.31.06

Chain Mails

Posted in Humour at 10:30 am by The Editor

Chain mails fall into different categories.
1. Please fwd this email and good luck will hit you within 6 days.
2. Please fwd this email and good luck will hit you within 6 days. And if you don’t something bad will happen. (Bad? like no one will send you chain mails .. and you’ll never have this chance to ‘good luck through chain mails’.)
3. Guddu Baby who is suffering from a rare form of cancer is going to get cured by you forwarding this email. (Amazing … chain mails cure deadly diseases. All the doctors in the world will soon get laid off. When you get sick, just send an email. “My son Babloo has a headache .. pls fwd this email to 5 other people, so that he gets well.”)
4. Guddu Baby is suffering from a very rare disease. Do you know anyone who has the cure? (Well you should be forwarding this to AIIMS/BJ/Stanford or any other good medical school and not to internet nobodies?)
5. Guddu Baby is suffering from a very rare disease.(What I though she would have been cured after the first two chain emails?) And for every email forwarded 10 cents will go into her cancer fund. (Imagine you are dying of cancer and you go to, say the Bill Gates foundation. Do you think they’re so stupid that they’ll ask you to send chain mails and based on that they’ll pay 10 cents per email? Instead of just paying you the medical expenses?)
6. Sri Ganesh mantra. Recite 9 times before breakfast and 2 times after lunch and pass on to 7 other people. Good luck will come flowing. Else ..

Case Study 1: Dying kid who needs help. Donor who will sponsor every email fwded?
Why would anyone do that? If I were the donor I would rather pay up upfront than send emails. And who tracks these emails sent… and how can they be tracked over multiple ISP’s and email providers?
How does passing on emails help collect money? Is someone tracking emails? No one called me asking whether I passed on Baby Guddu’s email … and to how many people?

Case Study 2: Religious forwards.
This week Pune360.com got an email from our religious correspondent, Lord Sree Ganesh:

Ganesh420@gmaXX.com 9:33am 31st May 2006

Dear Pune360Editor.
Thank you for the email send on Jan 7th. Sorry for the late reply. Since we are a million light years away, it’s difficult to get email messages across quickly. Maybe I need to get off the dial up and get onto DSL finally.

I’m tired of people using my name and sending stupid emails.
“Lord Ganesh will help you if you fwd this to 10 other people (not 6 or 7.. has to be 10 )”I’m pretty tired of seeing my name in all these chain mails. So is Sai Baba who is in the cubicle beside me.

Most of our ancient tests were written long before the internet came in. So we never told anyone to fwd mantras and if they didn’t these will be consequences. So forgive my language … but this is bullshit.

Hope you can convey this message to everyone through Pune360.com.
Have fun mate.

Blessings and modaks.
Sree e-Ganesh

PS … Lord Krishna and Vishnu got laid off last week. We have over a crore gods and the number of worshippers are now fast declining. Let me know if there are any positions available for them in Pune360. Resumes attached. Over a billion years of religious work experience, excellent references.

Please forward this email to as many people as you can. It will help Lord Krishna and Vishnu get a job. It will also help you get rid of your one remaining friend, make a few new enemies and you may also end up with better bowel movements.

Reported benefits so far:
We have over 10 people who have been cured of diarrhea
6 sudents who passed in their 4th standard Community Living exam
2 people who have started winning their inter-society ‘limboo in spoon’ competition.
1 person from Vidwa Nari Niketan who’s become an item girl at 64 years.

Your luck could turn!!

http://www.breakthechain.org/awards/9912.html Extremely funny, but contains offensive language.

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